Do you ever have one of those moments when you realize you’re doing something completely stupid? Like, if anyone else could see what you were doing at this moment, that person’s perception of your intelligence would plummet. I had one of these moments last week, standing in front of a UPS drop box, desperately rattling its locked door, and wishing I’d made a few different choices over the past 20 minutes.
I just wanted to return something I had ordered online. As is sometimes the case, the two dresses I looooved on bluefly.com did not quite love me back when I had the chance to try them on. So, back they were going. The kind folks from Bluefly enable these returns by letting customers print their own UPS return labels. As long as you can get your return package into the hands of a UPS delivery person, you can sit back, relax, and expect a full refund in about 10 business days. Voila!
This whole process becomes a bit more complicated, however, when there are no UPS stores nearby, as seems to be the case for downtown Madison. To make things even more inconvenient, UPS won’t schedule a pickup unless you’re using a UPS account to pay for the shipment. Strike two. So I was left with one option: the drop box.
Once I schlepped the package all the way to the nearest drop box, I stood there, a bit skeptical that the package would fit in door. It fit–barely–but I had to push kind of hard to get it to close. Okay, fine, I had to squish the box down a little bit and force the door shut. And then…nothing happened. The box was there in the compartment, not falling neatly into the holding cell below. Oh well, I thought. Worth a shot. I decided just to take the package back home and worry about it later.
Except the door wouldn’t open because I’d wedged the box inside. Terrific.
Since the box was clearly not coming home with me, I thought I should at least try to get it to drop down to where it belonged. So I grabbed the door handle and gave it a shake. Nothing. I shook again. The box didn’t budge, but I heard a distinctive click. Not only was the package pretty well stuck inside, the door had locked.
So, there I was. Grasping the door handle, rattling it loudly in my ever-growing panic, realizing there was absolutely nothing I could do about this. And, of course, looking really, really stupid. I finally walked away, abandoning my package in the deposit compartment where it sat, locked away, preventing anyone else from dropping off a package for pickup that day.
I walked out, trying not to look too shifty as I scurried away, and realized I would have no way of knowing whether or not my package had been retrieved for days. And then I realized that I was expecting a delivery the very next day…from UPS. If I were the type of person with qualities like forethought, I could have waited one more day and safely handed the return package to my friendly UPS delivery person. Instead, I avoided eye contact out of embarrassment when the UPS guy did come, and I spent the next three days compulsively checking my email for notification that the return had been processed.
Don’t worry–the notification email finally arrived. Order has been restored in my world and my ego bruise has almost completely healed. You know, until the next moment of stupidity. Stay tuned.